Somethin’ to feed da B.O.R.E.D.O.M

You want to sit down and talk face to face?
I already gave you that option but you chose to run away…while backstabbing me by sending a message to him asking him to clarify things with me…
Let me tell you this…I DON"T NEED HIM TO TELL ME ALL THOSE THINGS THAT YOU ASKED HIM TO…that is between US.
The problem is YOU who can’t seem to grasp the meaning of FRIEND/HOUSEMATE and god knows what else you’ve been deluding yourself with….
I know what went on with you and him in the PAST as well as the PRESENT and I am not stupid enough to think that faithfulness is a man’s strong factor but I CHOSE to place a percentage of pure BLIND faith that this might work when you CHOSE TO FUCK OFF FROM HIS LIFE.
So stop all these emo rubbish about the boy is YOURS.
Who’s the past in who’s future right now?
GO…BE RICH…Play around with ‘your’ cars….JUST Leave US alone…

And one more thing…Baby, there’s no such thing as EX-es being FRIENDS especially if some kind of hope from the other party is still there…If you want to be with her, I will take a bow from this stage of hypocrisy. I DO NOT want to be part of this drama. Had enough of my own to settle. Not to mention that I refuse to be cukolded and deluded….but since you’ve appeased me at 5am with the promise that you will talk to her about all these nonsensical stuffs...I AM HOLDING YOU TO IT.

This bloody blog war is fucking ridiculous…You have my bloody number so call me so that we can SIT DOWN AND TALK FACE TO FACE. If my patience runs thin and I do it my way, it will not be pretty and all the pretended innocence of yours will be gone just like pieces of clothings that can be so easily discarded…urgh!

Familiar smells
Familiar sights
Familiar sounds
Familiar smiles…
All the familiarities and yet something is different.
She is not here with me. Both shes.

The last time I was here was after I had finished my A-Levels. It was/is a place for me to seek solace, peace…to mend myself…and this time I am here again for almost the same reason…I was dying slowly and the offer came at an appropriate time but I almost didn’t take it due to obligations and responsibilities that I need to fulfill…

With just coins in my purse, here I am…in another country, another place, another world…almost cut off from the real world and the many realities awaiting when I return to the place that is called HOME…I have been here for almost a week and today is the first since In arrived that I managed to get hold of my world that I’ve left behind through this thing called INTERNET.

No mrts
No proper transportations
No easy access to internet
No nearby amneities

but I loveD it and I am still loving it…everytime…

A cup of tea on the balcony. The mist settling around. Smack in the middle of the mountain with the weather resembling Hobart in spring…I can die happy and penniless here without caring if it is gonna be costly a burial…Simplicity.

I know that I have alot to do and think about…but right now all I want is to make myself well again…and strong. I had enough of ‘fighting’ with a certain hypocritical ‘tudung minah’ …I am sick of all the pretences and the act of being nice…at least I don’t hide behind that piece of clothing and pretend that I am so sweet and demure while exposing…No matter what I still have that self-worth despite the fact that I can be sick in the head at times…Right now I had enough of this stupid shit because I have more shit to clean up and a bigger shit to deal with when I leave my peaceful place…

For the next few weeks, I am going to enjoy my daily doses of Dilmah tea, breathe in the fresh mountain air and get rid of all these pent up angst…

SRI LANKA…DO YOUR MAGIC…

tired
can’t sleep

sick
don’t be so sad?
how not to be?
the first every morning and the last every night…

and suddenly everything changed…in a blink of an eye
through the tears…gone…just like that…
no news…nothing…silence…
dreamlike…unreal…

forced to toughened up…need to free and be free…
need to believe…have faith…
‘How much longer?’…’How many more times?’…seem to be recurring themes…

……………….
Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in

It’s all over me

I’m lying here in the dark

I’m watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You’ve got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]

I give you everything that I am
I’m handin’ over everything that I’ve got
Cause I wanna have a really true love

Don’t ever wanna have to go & give you up

Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight

What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we’re gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I’m safe
Don’t want to lose the love I’ve found

Remember when you said that you would change
Don’t let me down
It’s not fair how you are

I can’t be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I’m handin’ over everything that I’ve got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don’t ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we’re gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can’t escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)