Somethin’ to feed da B.O.R.E.D.O.M

It was to be the last match played by the two rivals and I managed to be there to witness that moment all thanks to the ticket that my sis won through a competition…

It has been ages since I last step foot into the Jalan Besar Stadium to watch a live soccer match. The last time I was at the stadium was probably on my 16th birthday to watch an S-League match during my soccer crazy days and ermm…I also remembered crying when the team I supported lost.heh.

Anyway, I decided to go for the match due to the very fact that it was supposedly the last match between Singapore and Malaysia played in the National Stadium. The stadium was almost full and everything was fine until people decided to boo at the Malaysian fans that had arrived. I was really appalled and I turned to my sis to tell her about how disgusting that behaviour was and to my horror, the little brat was doing the same thing. She laughed at my horrified look and went to explain that it was all in the name of fun. Well…I accepted the explanation and as much as I hated the booings and tauntings, I smiled and waited for the match to start. However, my patience was again tested when they started booing when we were supposed to stand as a show of RESPECT when they played the Malaysian’s national anthem. I guess I might have said something cos the booing died down behind me and I heard someone shouting "Respect lah oi!Respect!" When it came for the time to sing Singapore’s national anthem, I kinda did something juvenile. I guess cos’ I was so mad at the behaviour of these morons that I refused to stand up to sing the anthem. I mean if you don’t bother standing for one, why stand for the other? And that shocked my sister. haha.
Well, basically throughout the match, they were hurling insults at one another. And there were also some funny moments. I guess I have been out of the soccer scene for too long and it is hard for me to accept insensitive jokes such as telling the other party to go back to Malaysia and swim in the flood. I mean there’s funny but there’s also sensitivity. I don’t find making jokes about something that is so destructive and sad, since people lost their lives and also their homes, funny. PERIOD. I do have a sense of humour and I also believe that respect is important.

My bestfriend pinned down my difficult behaviour on PMS which I respectfully disagree. heh.

What I am trying to say is that…Having fun is cool but there must always be a line to what is acceptable and what is not. But again, at the end of the day, I am just one against the fifty thousand people there to witness the historic moment where two rivals clashed at one of the few memorable places for me in Singapore for the last time before the new replaces the old as usual.

‘Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life’

‘Apalah maumu kasih

Kau pilih diriku

Di dalam hidupmu

Nyatanya ku lihat kini

Tak bisa kau coba untuk setia
‘

‘I look and stare so deep in your eyes
I touch on you more and more every time
When you leave i’m beggin you not to go
Call your name two, three times in a row
Such a funny thing for me to try to explain
How i’m feeling and my pride is the one to blame
Yeah, cause i know i don’t understand
Just how your love can do what no on else can’

‘Walau jauh akan ku gegas berlari
Walau tinggi bisa ku terbang di langit
Walau sedalam mana akan ku selami
Kerana cinta sedalam itu mekar
bila ku dekat padamu’

‘Games, changes and fears

When will they go from here

When will they stop

I believe that fate has brought us here

And we should be together

But wer,e not

I play it off but I’m dreamin of you

I’ll keep it cool but I’m fiendin.

I try to say goodbye and I choke

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it it’s clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it’s clear

My world crumbles when you are not near’

‘
  Pernah berpikir ‘tuk pergi
Dan terlintas tinggalkan kau sendiri
Sempat ingin sudahi sampai di sini
Coba lari dari kenyataan
Tapi ku tak bisa jauh jauh darimu
Ku tak bisa jauh jauh darimu
Lalu mau apa lagi
Kalau kita sudah gak saling mengerti
Sampai kapan bertahan seperti ini
Dua hati bercampur emosi
Tapi ku tak bisa jauh jauh darimu
Ku tak bisa jauh jauh darimu’

Absence makes the heart grows fonder?
or
Far from sight, far from mind?

feeling so bummed out.
No flights out till after the uni starts.
No calling card.
No money.
No point.
No motivation.
No mood.

sometimes just hate feeling all these damn insecurities and anger.

Eyes can hardly open. Approaching the  72 hours with only 2 hours of disturbed sleep in between.
Madness. Total madness. Especially since it would a full school day with monsters from both levels in a couple of hours.

Little Miss Green needs to be weaned.
Or she will go sick with unneeded thoughts.

You’re not alone
Together we stand
I’ll be by your side
You know I’ll take your hand
When it gets cold
and it feels like the end
there’s no place to go
YOU KNOW I WON’T GIVE IN
NO I WON’T GIVE IN

Keep holding on
Cos you know we’ll make it through
We’ll make it through
Just stay strong
Cos you know I’m here for you
I’m here for you
There’s nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on cos you know we’ll make it through
We’ll make it through

So far away I wish you were here
Before it’s too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close, this comes to an end
BUT WITH YOU BY MY SIDE I WILL FIGHT AND DEFEND
I WILL FIGHT AND DEFEND

Hear me when I say, when I say
I believe nothing’s gonna change
Nothing’s gonna change destiny
Whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all
And all the wants
And all the needs
And I don’t want to need at all

The walls start breathing
My mind’s unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted (oh I wish…the burdens are added on.f.)
On this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight

A fallen star
Least I fall alone
I can’t explain what you can’t explain
You’re finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain (yeah…so disdainful were those looks that I keep throwing up whenever I see those pictures)

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you are BLIND
It’s better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you are the first to know
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
A little insight won’t make this right
It’s too late to fight
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight…

you were already ‘BURNED’.
why don’t you just run along and heal those wounds?
stubborn fool

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!

Ushered in the new year with almost all the people whom I love more than my own life…it has been years since I feel the same warm feeling of being with my family. We went for the morning Eid prayer and then the graveyard. Came back and did a really fast clean-up and packing and finally left Singapore in the afternoon. Three families in one suite was definitely overcrowded but it was all good and I am happy. We all decided to go back to the place where she spent her last holiday with the family. It was a bittersweet outing and it was good to see all the little cousins having fun. The baby sis didn’t make it to work today and the other came back early. As for me, I kinda passed out in the car while we were stuck in the traffic jam on the way back to Singapore today.heh.
Had to resist the temptation when the baby sis asked me out to play pool cos work starts proper tomorrow…sigh…and she and our personal chaffeur ended up watching movies at home…
And so the holiday has officially ended.

and I am so, so tired.
Gonna make daddy send me to work.hehe.

and i am so looking forward to the dates after work with one of my sayang and my babe who’s coming back to Singapore in the late afternoon. yay!

Know you got the power to make me weak inside…
Everytime I agree to take you in
And my heart breathes again
Baby I can’t help it
Keep me drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I’m swept away by love…

man…I am so high…need to sleep…