Somethin’ to feed da B.O.R.E.D.O.M

Not for all the religion phobic people
Just something for myself that I feel like sharing
In search of the inner light to guide

UNGU-Surgamu (Your Heaven)

Segala yang ada dalam hidupku (Everything in my life)
Ku sadari semua milikMu (I’ve realised that they all belong to You)
Ku hanya hambaMu yang berlumur dosa ( I am just Your servant who is covered in sins)
Tunjukkan aku jalan lurusMu untuk menggapai surgaMu (Show me the way to Your heaven)
Terangi ku dalam setiap langkah hidupku (Enlighten me in my every steps)
Keranaku tahu hanya Kau TuhanKu (Because I know that only You are my God)
Allahu Akhbar, Allah Maha Besar… (Allahu Akhbar, Allah is Great)
Hanyalah padaMu tempatku berteduh (Only You are my shelter)
Memohon redha dan ampunanMu (To seek peace* and forgiveness)

P.S: The translation kinda sucks and I apologise. My mind is stuffed with too many things)

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Once again…being away from people who have always been my strength when I am weak, I only have HIM to turn to.
Only HIM can understand me without me having to say anything.
Only HIM can understand why all these are happening over and over and over again.
Only HIM can provide all the answers that I am seeking now.

I have to leave all of you temporarily…even…especially you:(

Please give me the strength.

Sunday, 22nd October marks the end of the Ramadhan (fasting month) for all the Muslims here in Hobart. In fact, we are celebrating the Eid a day earlier than some countries such as Singapore and Malaysia. In the midst of trying to finish up the remaining of the assignments and studying for the exams, with a group of friends here, we are doing our best to prepare some delicacies and organise even it is something simple, to mark the end of the fasting month.
In a couple of hours, we will be heading to the local mosque in Hobart for our Eid prayer at 8am so I don’t think I will be sleeping till after I am back from the prayer and uni. Oh wait…I gotta get the groceries and cook for the celebration on Tuesday…so I guess till I am done with whatever that I need to do then…
This will be my third Eid away from home and although I should be used to it by now, the sadness of being away from my loved ones will always be something that is hard to adapt to. Hopefully, if all goes well I will be back with them for the next Eid.

Salam Aidilftri to All. Seeking your forgiveness for any wrong doings that I had purposely or otherwise did to anyone and may you will always be blessed in whatever you do.
Have a good one:)

And good luck to all my Hobartian friends for the upcoming exams.

21st October…

Her Birthday…She would have been 42…
May she be resting in peace…amen…

‘When you left, I lost a part of me’

4:42pm

1) week 12 is almost up and there’s still so much to do…how quickly time flies…

2) how hot and flustered I am at the moment

3) cigarrettes and nicotine patches

4) why is the sky blue and the grass is green…

5) Cheeseburgers…simplicity is good sometimes

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I finally managed to dragged myself out of the house and to the library for the week…

NOT supposed to be updating this but I am feeling too hot at the moment to do anything productive…alaaaassaaaannnnnn…

The excessive heatwave has been putting me off leaving the cool comfort of my house to venture anywhere…darn! and it is NOT even summer yet…it is 30 deg today and that is as good as being back in hot, hot Singapore…

Wanted to go to the bank the moment I reached uni to get my BSB number but I saw everyone hanging around the grass patch and the TUU building had been vacated due to the fire alarm but within minutes of the arrival of the fire engine, we were allowed to go back inside…and I was not bothered to find out why…This is going to be my third summer in Tassie and fire alarms and bushfires have all become a norm to me…nothing intriguing…

But when I saw the fire engine, I got reminded of my bratty lil’ sis cos there was a firewoman handling the situation at the TUU. And my mum was telling me yesterday how she came back home without washing up her boots after responding to an accident call where the victim’s brain was all smashed up or something like that…had to ask mum to stop telling me all these gross stories of my sister’s…eeeurrggh! I don’t think I am cut out to join SCDF after all…hahaha…hate gruesome things…so I guess the lil’ brat won’t have to call me madam/ma’am after all…hahahaha…

the heat is making my brain ultra sluggish…gah!

3:06pm…
1) shit! it is WEEK 12…one more week of uni after this and arrghh!!
2) 2 presentations and 2 essays before the semester is up…can I do it?
3) feel so lazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyy to go to the library today…
4) need to hide from the sun…don’t like getting dark…don’t like getting freckles…call me vain…I don’t care
5) gotta go and get a calling card when the sun looks less scary…this is the longest ever I have not called my darling mummy and all my sayangs aka my bestfriends and my stooopid sistas…waaahhh!!!

My back is killing me…couldn’t sleep that well yesterday or this morning cos I could feeeellll the pain right to my tummy…bahh!

Went to Sisco’s at the wharfe for some fine dining with the MSS committee last night…our last dinner as a committee before the AGM sometime next week which is MSS’s last event for the year…
whoa…it has been a year?! time really moves…I still remember MSS first meeting…at Commerce last summer and now we are all stepping down…
Professionally, politically and diplomatically…It has always been great being part of a society and it is no different for MSS.
I am gonna miss all the people and working with them…

oohhh…I love the desert.I had Caramel Souffle and they had this pretty sugar thingie which tasted like cotton candy…and the main course… trevalla with the prawns sandwiched in between…no fishy smell…I likeeee….
I realised a few things about fine dining…
1) it takes agessssssss…we were there from 7:30 till 11…phew!
2) to really enjoy the food…you gotta chew really slowly and savour each flavour that seeps through…i could taste 3 different kind of flavours in one dish…hmmm
3) its not so much of the quantity but the quality
tapi kesian tengok the lobsters and the crabs…one moment they are swimming stupidly in the tank…the next they end up on someone’s dinner plate…wahhhhh!!

okay now to jumpstart gear to work mode

5:51am…

1) Not a very  happy person at the moment:(
2) Tired, Sleepy and Grouchy? Why? So am I…
3) Will it snow tomorrow? Will it? Will it? It’s damn cold now…*snuggles*
4) Miss my mummy…need to get a replacement calling card…
5) ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz…
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Had a great GALS DAY OUT with Intan, Nisa and Rai earlier on…went to Starbucks after breaking fast for the much-craved hot choc till 10 and then hung out at Rai’s place till 2am…whoa…how time flies…we decided to do this every week…next week will be a date to the wood-fired pizza place at Long Beach…sometimes all we need is some time off without any male specimens around us…

but yet…He was never far from my mind…sigh..

am tired,sleepy,annoyed and sad…

Someone…well actually even my mum said the same thing to me…"You kesian kan orang, siapa nak kesian kan you? (You take pity on others but who’s gonna pity you?)"
and frighteningly coincidental…the stupid star thingie again…

I am not bothered that much about that…it’s just that…well…I think I need a ME time soon to make ME all righty-o again…sigh…

oh…this will probably the last emo entry on this blog…the emo entries will be up on www.xanga.com/ladydeefyant81
Those who will be offended by vulgarities/obscenities/extreme emotional ravings are advised to stay away…

Not in the mood to do anything else right now…Might as well sleep now since I won’t be able to sleep the day away today

The Bottom Line

5 Thoughts as of 5:47pm, Wednesday Evening

1) That sarongs are damn comfy…Now I know why Nords was obssessed with them last Ramadhan…too bad…now I am holding this sarong ransom…hahaha
2) Wouldn’t it be easier if one can clone oneself…then choices and decisions won’t have to be so hard…There will be one very angelic version of me, one really baddddddd version, one party animal, one of each category that I can think of…bwhahaha
3) Crikey! I slept with my lenses and I am still wearing them now…oops…
4) To please everyone is impossible even at the extent of displeasing oneself…What do you think?
5) Sometimes I feel like I am suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome…I want to be my mummy’s and papa’s little girl forever…Growing up sucks!

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Was having a fag…okay…maybe 2…with my lil bro Nonoh Joe Hamid yesterday after breaking fast, in front of 118, surrounded by the ciggie butts on the floor courtesy of moi, the beautiful noise from the passing cars and the wonderful smell of trash from the 2 green bins in front of me…

Fate…something that is perplexing to the both of us…

What is defined by it?
I agree with what lil Nonoh said…that the major ‘landmarks’ that we come across or chanced upon in our lifetime are fated…

What about mistakes? especially the ones that we know are wrong…were we fated to commit those mistakes?

One last question…

Can we fight fate if we know what is fated for us?

Yaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnn…
7:04am…
Top 5 Thoughts for the morning…
1) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz is much needed…so darn tired…
2) P.R.I.O.R.I.T.I.E.S need to be set…as much and as hard as it is…repeating same mistakes over and over again is just plain stupidity…bah…
3) Sliding Door…will IT be really different in another life? I hardly doubt so…We may not even have met
4) Why do some people need to ask the obvious? Duh…(slaps the forehead)…ask me not silly stuffs so I won’t have to give idiotic answers or ignore the question totally…sigh
5) That self-control is possible…it is ALL in the mind…seriously…

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Some one asked me to wake up cos’ it was time to update my blog…How to wake up if I haven’t even sleep? ceh
I have totally reversed my sleeping pattern for Ramadhan…I go to bed at 7am…at that is the earliest…it’s normally almost 8am before I can start snoring…
So I am really sorry if I sound really groggy and lost if I answer the phone at 10/11/12/1/2…

I think I am suffering from hormonal imbalance…was happy…so very happy…now I feel so down…

‘Pandangan matanya menghancurkan jiwa
Dengan segenap cinta aku bertanya
Bila rindu ini masih milikmu
Ku hadirkan sebuah tanya untuk mu
Harus berapa lama aku menunggumu?’

Not waiting anymore…that’s for sure…in between I think Ariel looks really hot in this music video as the ANGEL…barebodied ANGEL…hubba hubba!

To my very own ANGEL…sorry for the hurtful stuffs I said…didn’t mean it…was just trying to test the depth of the water…Now that I know…Sorry…just needed to make sure…

I miss my stupid siblings…wish they are here to guide me, bitch with me, annoy me and do what sisters are supposed to do…sigh…hormonal imbalance…I blame my current situation on it…Gah…

5 THOUGHTS of the DAY
i) what to cook for breaking fast…ended up cooking fried rice, fried mee hoon and cucur with iced milo…
ii) him and him and HIM
iii) how cute he looks when he smiles and laughs
iv) my assignments
v) that behind every successul man lies a woman but a woman can also bring the downfall of man…hmmm

okay…so I am besotted…so shoot me…:)
it is a good sign…i’m moving forward and on…and away…from old ideals and principles…bah

I can’t stop thinking how much I like looking at his smiles and hearing him laughs…
There’s so much I am learning from him and time flies so fast whenever I am with him that it is sometimes so scary…

Actually…I don’t want to say much about him but I can’t help it..heh…am so on cloud 9

Bear with this l**e-struck bimbo dear avid readers…I will be back to my old bitching self soon…haha
(The reason why i put the stars in place of the letters O and V is because I think the word is blasphemous. People have so often misused it that it has been cheapened and thus holds not much value…especially to moi)

‘Memories seem like so long ago. Time always kills the pain.
We have changed but we are still the same’

‘I never thought that I could l**e again
Never thought I’ll let somebody else in
I never thought I can trust and then
Here I am in l**e once again’

heh…am in such a sappy mood…