Can I dig a hole deep deep and just bury myself in it?
Preferably six feet under
Away from anything and everything
Sigh
Since I can’t do that…
The next best thing is to stuff my ears with the earphones, go under the doona and rot in bed.
Someone had recently told me…’You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it’…I almost lost the jewels of my life…Thank you God for giving me this opportunity to realise my stupidity before I was too late…Please protect my family from further harm…I can’t bear to…
I have not told my parents I loved them enough.
When I am down and oh my soul, so weary,
When troubles come and my heart burden be,
Then I am still and wait here in the silence,
UNTIL you come and sit a while with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains,
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas,
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders,
You raise me up To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
Setiap titis airmata.Setiap saat nan duka.Mengajar aku tentang erti dunia. Tak ku lupa pengorbanan kehidupan. Memikul beban di bahu dan selalu memberikan yang termampu. Ayahku terlalu menyayangi aku. Mendedikasi kan hidupnya kepada ku. Dan ibu selalu ada bersama walau serendah mana aku. Dia tetap menjunjung namaku. Biarku belai tanganmu yang telah ditelan usia namun penuh berjasa mulia. Terlalu lama inginku luahkan rasa kesyukuran di hati pada dua insan yang paling ku sayangi.
BIARKU HILANG SEGALANYA. HARTA BENDA ATAUPUN NYAWA. ASAL TAK KU HILANG KAU BERDUA. Dan aku berdoa semoga sejahtera selamanya hidup kita sekeluarga di dunia dan selepasnya…
Bonda yang ku sanjung. Ayah yang ku agung…
Bonda demi kami kau bersabung nyawa. Engkau laksana nakhoda bahtera pelayaran. Laut ganas bergelora teman permainan. Rajuk angin matl layar kau perdayungkan tangan. Ayah demi kami kau rela berkorban.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Tuhan sengaja menduga kita dimana kesabaran manusia…
Pasti engkau terkenangkan peristiwa semalam…
Entah dimana akal fikiran hingga sesat di jalan yang terang
Ini suratan yang diberikan menguji kekuatan jiwa
Waktu engkau ku lupakan dalam kemarau cinta,betapa hati mu rela demi melihat ku bahagia
Kau menahan segala siksa.Dihati hanya berdoa mengharapkan aku kan pulang pada terang cahaya
Ku yang hanyut di arus dosa. Di laut ribut melanda dan berenang ke pelabuhan kasih sayang sebenar
Helplessness…
Aku yang tak pernah bisa lupa kan dirinya
Yang kini hadir diantara kita
Namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
Yang selama ini temani hidupku
Maafkan aku
Menduakan cintamu
____________________________________________________________________________________
There’s just something about September…
My parent’s wedding anniversary
My personal chauffeur aka Rusdy’s birthday
My mum’s birthday
My papa’s birthday
My one and only bratty brother’s birthday
and millions of memories that had happened around this month of the year
7 September…
The thoughts, the memories, the pain, the guilt…they are hitting all at once
Dan demi waktu yang bergulir di samping mu
Maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu
Maafkan aku…
Senses calmed by the familiar smell of Sampoerna, Mind freshened by the cold night wind of Tasmania…
Love looking at the night sky blanketed by the million twinkling stars, whilst the thoughts wander about random stuffs…
The NEW will always REPLACE the OLD
Birth is the replacement for Death…supposedly…
Everything happens for a reason…right? Only the time can tell what is the reason.
The death of a relationship gives birth to an experience learned…The death of a love one gives birth to a myriad of new feelings…The sense of loss, sadness, grievances…acceptance finally? When?
Never did like changes especially when comfortable with the current…Not all changes are bad though…All good and bad things must or will come to an end…There is no permanence in anything…
The green is still blinking but it is getting dimmer and dimmer…
Don’t want to be burdened by this useless emotion…
Giving one’s best does not mean expecting or getting the best from others..
Green…green…please go away…
You are making me a unhappy person when I am not supposed to be
Today is the first day of the fasting month…
Am supposed to be doing my assignment which was dued on Friday but since I am infamously known for always asking/negotiating/begging for extensions, this one is no different…heh
The new deadline is Monday which means that I HAVE to finish it soon…
Anyway, the reason why I decided to take a bit of time off to blog is because of a mass email that I had received from an individiual whom had left an impact in my life whilst I am on my journey in Tasmania…
His presence in Hobart is still deeply missed and I wished that he is still here to guide me and many others…
The analogy that he used in his email is something that I personally find really interesting…
The comparison of a caterpillar which most will find revolting to its metamorphosis as a beautiful butterfly after its ‘fasting’ period…
Fasting month is a time for all us Muslims to take advantage of to perform good deeds and do things to improve and better ourselves in hope that we will all be the ‘beautiful’ butterfly
Thank you Ryzal for the inspiring email…
Happy Ramadhan to all my fellow Muslims…May this Ramadhan bring out the goodness that is in all of us…
Sorry.
To all the people who I had treated like a punching bag/bitching partners etc etc
I wished that I had control this damn temper and…fine…I admit it…jealousy better…and I deeply regretted what I did today.
But I am still damn pissed off. I am probably gonna be pissed off for a very long time. More at myself than anybody else.So I have decided that until these feelings wear off, I shall try my very best to stay away from human beings.
I guess I just don’t like to be compared, for some others to take my place….whatever…if you have a new friend, let the person own’s uniqueness and individuality shows…aiyahhhhhhh…why are small things bothering the crap out of me?
And now I don’t really know WHY I am so damn pissed off…all I know is that I am STILL…
_________________________________________________________________________
Back from phone break with…
No other than my greatest bitching partner…My BABE!! Feeling a bit better and I just realised how much I am missing her. SIGH. Please come. Please come. I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed…
Where is the moment when you need it the most
You kicked up the leaves and the magic is lost…
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You’re FAKING a SMILE with the coffee to go…
Cos you had a BAD DAY
You’ve taken one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around…
You worked at a smile and go for a ride.
‘Why we’re here, where do we go and how come it’s so hard
It’s not always easy as sometimes life can be deceiving
I tell you one thing that it’s always better when we are together’
Standing at the edge, slowly walking in deeper and deeper…Plague by a past, uncertainties and confusions…
______________________________________________________________________________
Some chapters are ending and some are just starting…Some lines are very well-defined…Some are just so hazy and blurry…No matter what, choices have been made and decisions to make or break it depends on the strengths of many important and unimportant factors…
I DON"T KNOW but I BELIEVE that some things are meant to be.
From this moment…
You’re probably the answer to my prayers from up above (and probably my mum’s as well…heh)
Thank you…
I am walking around like a zombie…reached the max right after the rehearsal today and am so so so glad to be sitting on my beloved bed right now…am supposed to be sleeping or at least resting but I guess my body is rebelling as usual…had a really bad gastric attack today…but zantac made it so much better…two more days then I can eat ‘normally’ again..haha
Actually, I am kinda on cloud 9 today…heh…well until i remember…sigh…
‘Barang yang lepas jangan dikenang. Kalau dikenang kan meracun jiwa’
aiyahhhhh…i dun know wat to do lah…i am just gonna let nature takes it course with this one…
everything is still so damn vague and I am too scared…yesterday was so dream-like…
eeermmmm…maybe it was….hah
