Somethin’ to feed da B.O.R.E.D.O.M

i swear my body system is pretty screwed up right now…
i am pmsing at the wrong time…hah…
boredom
extreme boredom
anger
lethargy
melancholia
see..it is screwed up i tell you…

Please don’t make it hard for me…I don’t want to be placed in a position where I have to choose sides…I don’t want to burden my mind further by thinking and thinking and thinking about matters which does not concern me directly…and I don’t want to question a person’s motives and integrity if that person has not done anything to me…I believe that, whatever that person does, there’s a reason for it and I don’t want to interfere in matters that does not concern me.

so why is it hard for me to accept certain things?
so why am i still feeling all bothered and flushed?
so why are some words just repeating themselves in my head?

I admit that I am bias. When someone means alot to me, their flaws are invisible to me.
I am not asking for much…Just leave me alone,please.

bad day…bad day….bad day…bad day…

The song by some Powter guy is goin on and on in my head and I’ve consumed chocolates enough for an army…thank god for lil bro Noh and his fish roe…that made the otherwise sucky day much better…

Was telling mum that I felt like slapping someone and she told me to control my temper…well i said i felt…not like I did it right? ceh. she also said that I have to learn how to say no even if it is to someone that i love most in this world…well, besides her of course…and no…it is not another dickhead…a dickhead can never be someone i love MOST in the world…he will come after a long list of ‘I LOVEs…’ ooops got sidetracked. I mean to say my siblings. How to say no…difficult leh…haiya…sigh

I am watching another anime now…I love Kenshin but I hate the love story in it…although it is just a little bit…I hate watching anything with love story in it…I hate watching anything about death of someone who’s not evil…I hate watching happy things as well…and most of all…I hate you…I don’t know why but I just hate you…hahaha…

can someone tell me what’s the point of being alive if you are just gonna fucking die and leave everything behind after all the hard work of just trying to stay alive?

well.tomorrow is another day.i might feel better tomorrow.yay.

The star has stopped shining for a month and two days…40th day coming up…wishing that I am back with them…The trip back home taught me something very valuable…I NEED them…Time is moving too slow now…too damn slow

Let it be August 2008 soon…

‘Di keheningan malam termenung ku berseorang
Tak lena mata di pejam
Terdengar suara terngiang
Suara merdu yang disayang
Bagai kau di depan mata
Ku capai tapi tak kena…
Bila rindu terkenang mu sayang
Terasa sayu, syahdunya jiwaku
Bila malam makin kelam jauh terbang diriku melayang
Aku rindu sentuhanmu
Ku rasa sayu inginkan jiwamu selubungi jiwa ini
Bawaku dalam pelangi melepasi batas diri ini
Jauh angan ku lena
Kurasa kita bersama
Kau bawa daku ke sana
Ke alam kisah yang lama, kenangan di dalam jiwa
Bila tersedar tersemula disisiku kau tiada…
Ku rasa kita bersama’

She’s not gone…She’s visits me daily in my dreams…ari-gato…

It has been a weird week…it has been one week since I left Singapore and at times I felt as if I did not leave Tassie at all…sigh…

It has been a weird week…especially the last few days…someone thought I was local and wanted to offer me the services of a bodyguard (wtf?) cos he thinks I need someone to look after me when he realised that I am not and I respectfully decline the offer. And I’ve been approached by a few people when I am blissfully smoking Sampoerna outside of the library. They were all drawn to the smell of the cloves in the cigarette…like a moth to the flame…maybe I should design a perfume that smells like ‘kretek’…haha…Well, at least I made some new friends by smoking the clove cigarrette of Indonesia…

Singapore Night came and went…I had to wear a dress because Mark said that I cannot attend the function wearing suit and pants…so much for equality…hehe…kidding…it was a success and I am so proud of Saleh and the rest of my fellow committee members who did a terrific job at organising the event…MAJULAH SINGAPURA! Oh yeah…had to sing the national anthem after so many years. And I swear that I did not have anything to do with Vijay winning the Mr Singapore 2006 or Rai winning Miss Singapore 2006 or Shah winning the STA Travel voucher. It was all by luck. Really. Sheesh… I thoroughly enjoyed the lunch with His Excellency Mr Teo and Mrs Teo. Now I am looking forward to Malaysian Night…another chance to dress up like a girl..heh

God…I am so homesick…

So long, so far

and I  miss having a chauffeur…hehe…(You betta start saving money to buy another dirt bike or I will kick you out of the family:P)

I miss you all so much…sigh…The countdown begins again…