It did not happened!!!
‘Waktu terasa semakin berlalu
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita
Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu tuk’ hapuskan semua sepi dihati…’
She’s not here because…She’s in Saudi working…or She’s in Sri Lanka visiting…She’ll be back…She’s not gone…I can still hear her laughter, see her smile, confide in her, touch her, see her…She’s not gone…She’s still here with us…
These thoughts have enabled me get through these past one week…They have enabled me to look at Shamin who is a spitting image of her without bursting into tears…Mummy has also been reminiscing…The memories…they do hurt…When I read a dear friend’s blog, I couldn’t stop the tears…There are so many things that I had wanted to do but can never now…
Denial…these are all part of a really bad dream…just like the ones I had too frequently when I was in Hobart…when I get up, everything will be okay again…She will be there…alive and well…it’s a just a very bad, bad dream…
Wake up…please wake up…
"When we were still in secondary school Dee, we used to walk to school together. You’d
tell me about this really great lady, your aunt, who defied
conventions, went to work abroad as a nurse, fell in love, and against
all odds, made it a fairytale ending.
I loved
to hear you tell me about her letters home to you. Cos it was a link to
the world outside I had never been to and never seen. I still remember
you telling me about a concert that the Saudi police werent too happy
about, or the places she travelled to. Did you ever know that?She
was in our eyes, the bravest and courageous one around, and I believe
she remained till her last day on Earth, still very much the fighter.
Al-Fateha, to the aunt, the sister,the wife and the mother that everyone mourns.
Hang
in there dear, we love you very much and hope you’re dealing well with
this loss.I think I see a fighter as much in you, as we admired in her,
all those years ago.
What I would pay, for words that could actually comfort, instead of extending your grief."
P.S (Thank you to all who have been there for me…and thanks Sarah for the really beautiful entry above which reflects on part of what I want to but can’t yet type up for the woman I’ve idolised all my life…)
